Introduction to the Land of Trollandia
Trollandia is a mysterious realm where magic intertwines with reality, and where mountains, forests, and fjords hide more than one secret. It is said that its inhabitants were once giants with difficult temperaments and even greater ambitions. But something has changed. For unknown reasons, many trolls have begun to shrink to human size.
At first glance, this seemed like a positive development – their size became more manageable, yet unfortunately neither their spite nor their cunning diminished. Quite the opposite – now smaller and less conspicuous, they can slip into human affairs even more effectively, breaking what works and causing frustration among the population.
But humans are not the only ones troubled by these “new” trolls. The true forest trolls – those who have guarded the mountains and woods for centuries – watch their urban cousins with growing irritation. They see them as bunglers who abandoned the ancient rules of trollkind and brought chaos where harmony once reigned.
Today, when one speaks of trolls in Trollandia, the associations are not always positive. Trolls are no longer just creatures of the forest who frighten wanderers, but also clever, doubly mischievous beings who have infiltrated the world of humans – especially their offices, media, and politics.
Moreover, some of these smaller trolls have gained enough knowledge and influence to take positions that the old trolls could only dream of. After all – as everyone knows – politicians are not particularly picky when choosing their company. Trolls certainly possess one talent: they know how to win the crowd’s favour.
And so they push their relatives higher and higher, creating a network of connections in which chaos and manipulation have become the new norm.
We have decided to take a closer look at Trollandia and its inhabitants – because in this realm far more is happening than one might think. Every troll story is another dose of humour, irritation, and – perhaps – a small lesson for those who still believe that something good can come from chaos.
🔥🧌🏛️ The Government of Trollandia: for the glory of the land
to the despair of its citizens
The Government of Trollandia – where chaos meets competence (sometimes by accident)
In the very heart of the mountains, forests, and misty valleys lies Trollandia – a land inhabited by trolls with enormous ears, even greater ambitions, and a sense of guilt so microscopic it requires magnification.
The government is led by a group of carefully (though no one knows by whom) selected individuals – chosen or simply grown into their roles based on unregulated criteria that were never written down… and that no one remembers anymore.
At the top stands Egotroll – the prime minister who looks into the camera far more often than into any documents.
He is accompanied by a full range of ministers – from Miljødød, responsible for the climate (that is, its slow and uncontrolled demise), through Kulturfjern, who seems to have forgotten where he lost his connection to culture, all the way to Pengatroll, who “rediscovers” the national budget in completely new places every two months.
The government is supported by the well-coordinated Secret Executive Network, known for its mastery of surveillance, censorship, and filling out forms devoid of meaning.
For safety – especially the safety of documents – every decision is analysed, considered, and placed on a shelf somewhere between “threats” and “risk assessment”.
Does it work? No one knows.
But it has worked for years.
Welcome to Trollandia – here not everything makes sense, but every position does.
At the top stands Egotroll – the prime minister who looks into the camera more often than into his documents.
He is accompanied by a whole range of ministers – from Miljødød, responsible for the climate (that is, its slow and uncontrolled demise), through Kulturfjern, who has apparently forgotten where he lost his connection to culture, all the way to Pengatroll, who “rediscovers” the national budget in entirely new places every two months.
The government is supported by the well-coordinated Secret Executive Network, known for its mastery of surveillance, censorship, and filling out meaningless forms.
For security reasons – especially for the protection of documents – every decision is analysed, reviewed, and then placed on a shelf between “threats” and “risk assessment”.
Does it work? No one knows.
But it has been working for years.
Welcome to Trollandia – where not everything makes sense, but every position does.
Trollstjerna – the Former Grand Chief (Ex-Prime Minister)
Trollstjerna is an old veteran of politics – no longer in charge, yet still convinced that everything should be done her way. She is around fifty, broad like a wooden cupboard, with a proudly developed double chin and troll-sized self-admiration.
Her nose is short but massive, slightly flattened from years of sticking it where it didn’t belong – the classic troll nose of someone who interferes far too often. Her face is rosy and tense, as if she is always ready to growl. Her gaze carries a constant air of condescension, especially when she says: “I’m not saying anything, but…” – and then, of course, says absolutely everything.
Emerald earrings sparkle on her ears, and on her chest she proudly wears a badge reading: “Was, Is and Will Be!”
Her voice has a soft bass hum, and her laughter always ends with a subtle snort.
Although officially retired, she still mutters from behind the scenes, keeps pushing herself into frames, and – as always – knows best. In Trollandia they say that if you don’t see her, it’s only because she is already lurking somewhere nearby.
Snuttroll – Minister of Police
Snuttroll is the head of the Trollandian police – short in height, but blessed with an ego of monumental proportions.
Always dressed in a black uniform covered with badges no one recognises and no one ever awarded.
He has a sharp, twitchy stare hidden behind mirrored sunglasses, and he never parts with his baton, taser, or megaphone.
He wears a helmet “just in case” something happens by accident.
He often repeats: “The law is me.”
Rumour has it he once arrested himself by mistake – but was immediately released due to lack of evidence.
He reacts allergically to any questions about civil rights.
His office resembles a concrete bunker which, as he claims, “can also serve as a countdown clock to the end of duty.”
He usually hides in bushes, watching for someone to fine.
He avoids places where something truly bad is happening – where a child is missing, a boar crosses the road, or a drunk troll wobbles outside a shop.
“Safety? No, thanks. I’m just here for the paycheck.”
Helsevræl – Minister of Health of Trollandia
He treats trolls for everything – except the system itself.
Loves queues, forms, and “further procedures”.
Dreams of a world without sick trolls, because then he wouldn’t have to help them.
“Prevention? Yes, but preferably in theory.”
Helsevr’væl – Deputy Minister of Health of Trollandia
Role: A bureaucratic muddler and health theorist who has never seen a patient.
Personality: Calm and cool, but always confused. Spends entire days analysing “systemic symptoms” and drawing charts that mean absolutely nothing.
Quote: “According to the predictive model, everything could be a symptom…”
Miljødød – Minister of Climate of Trollandia
(the name means roughly: “Death of the Environment”)
Miljødød is a gloomy, silent troll who claims that “nature is already dead anyway”.
He dresses like an ecological prophet of doom, but hasn’t done anything whatsoever in the last three hundred years – except writing reports stating that “the situation is stably catastrophic.”
Grønntull – Minister of Nature of Trollandia
(the name means: “Green Nonsense” or “Eco-Baloney”)
Grønntull is a pompous troll-bureaucrat who claims to know nature, even though he hasn’t seen it for so many centuries that no one remembers how many.
He creates “green strategies” full of empty words and hands out ecological certificates like stickers – to anyone who can talk long enough about sustainability while doing absolutely nothing.
Påtrykkytroll – Minister of Media and Propaganda (PropagandaTroll)
Påtrykkytroll, also known as PropagandaTroll, is the minister of information… meaning disinformation.
He always holds a microphone with a built-in loudspeaker and repeats slogans until even the echo starts hurting.
On his chest he wears badges that read: “Truth is whatever I say” and “Plant doubt – then shout!”
His eyes are slightly cross-eyed – one looks into the camera, the other at the polling numbers.
He has no conscience, because he lost it long ago.
Skattgulltroll – Minister of Taxes
Skattgulltroll is a troll who sees the world through receipts.
His favourite saying is: “Everyone can contribute – especially by paying.”
He knows every tax by heart, even the ones that haven’t been introduced yet.
He smiles only when someone is being charged.
On his belt he carries a portable fine issuer and a handheld paragraph scanner.
He is famous for his uncanny ability to find “hidden income” in other trolls’ pockets.
In Trollandia they say that when Skattgulltroll is approaching, even the stones start counting.
Pengatroll – Minister of Finance of Trollandia
Pengatroll is a troll without sleep and without a conscience, with eyes that shine like gold.
He is a true economic monster – with a soul made of balance sheets and a heart forged from taxes!
His nose resembles a crooked stock-market chart, and instead of fingernails he has miniature abacuses.
He wears a black suit that looks as if it was sewn from other trolls’ wallets.
His tie? A rolled bundle of banknotes.
His pulpit is a stack of coins and documents, and behind him hang charts and tables at all times.
He speaks the language of numbers, percentages and “optimisation”.
He believes in the necessity of “tightening the belt” – of course for others, while he sits on a chair stuffed with tax money.
When Pengatroll utters the words: “For the good of the economy…” – all of Trollandia trembles.
Fisktjafs – Minister of Fisheries of Trollandia
Fisktjafs is a sea troll who has never been at sea, yet is an expert in “paper cod”.
He always smells of fish… usually the canned kind.
He wears a rubber storm jacket “just in case”, and beneath it peeks a tie decorated with scales.
On his head he wears a fishing cap that reads: “Not my net, not my problem.”
In one hand he holds fishing regulations, in the other – a harpoon he uses to point out those guilty of bureaucratic mistakes.
He loves to talk about “resource protection”, especially at the exact moment he signs a document allowing those resources to be exhausted.
Oljetrynetroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Oil and Energy
Oljetrynetroll is a troll with a permanently squinted expression, always able to sense profit from afar – the kind who “smells success the moment he walks in.”
His office is a hybrid of refinery and ministry: pipes, pumps and valves everywhere, and on the wall hangs a proud poster reading: “More pipelines, fewer problems.”
When asked about climate change, he responds with a broad smile and adds:
“Energy is our strength.”
And it’s hard to disagree – at least as long as something is still burning.
Arbeidspressetroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Labour
Arbeidspressetroll is a troll who is always busy… yet never finishes anything on time.
He always wears a watch that doesn’t work, but pretends with great seriousness that he’s keeping track.
He carries a „to-do tomorrow” list that grows longer every day – because instead of crossing things off, he constantly adds new tasks.
On the wall of his office hangs a poster saying: „Work more, complain less.”
He came up with the slogan himself, wrote it down… and never read it again.
Kulturfjern – Minister of Culture of Trollandia
Kulturfjern is a troll who speaks passionately about culture, even though he rarely attends cultural events and often gets lost in terminology.
He always keeps one hand on an old microphone that has been unplugged for years, delivering solemn speeches full of classical quotations — which he regularly attributes to the wrong authors.
His office is filled with forgotten artworks and books left untouched for ages.
On the wall hangs a poster that reads: „Culture is important, but it must be profitable.”
Grøntmøkk – Trollandia’s Minister of Agriculture and Food
Grøntmøkk is a troll who talks a lot about ecology, yet smells mostly of manure.
He always wears something green in his lapel — usually a wilted cabbage leaf or a dried pea.
In his speeches, he passionately speaks about “sustainable development” and “local food”,
although his everyday lunch is a hot dog from a vending machine.
Stålrævstroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Industry
Stålrævstroll is a tough, laconic troll with a metallic gaze and a posture as rigid as steel.
He always wears an overly tight grey belt with a wrench clipped to it — and he takes it everywhere, even to government meetings.
He speaks briefly and bluntly – his favourite word is simply: “Production.”
When he says it, everyone nods, although no one has the slightest idea what he actually means.
Skjoldtroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Defence
Skjoldtroll is a troll armed to the teeth, who never goes anywhere without a helmet, a shield, and… his own anti-missile umbrella – naturally invisible, yet costing billions.
His armour shines like new, even though it has never been used.
He operates from behind a concrete desk resembling a bunker, with rockets and flags bearing the troll emblem sticking out from its fortifications.
When he speaks, he repeats slogans about “national defence” and “trollish values” over and over.
He prefers to communicate through a megaphone – even when no one is around.
Always ready for war… as long as he doesn’t have to move.
Rättferdtroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Justice
Rättferdtroll is a troll with a sharp, penetrating gaze, known as the one who “delivers verdicts before anyone asks for evidence.”
He always insists that “everyone is equal before the law – but some are more equal.”
He wears a judicial robe, although beneath it he has squeezed in a bulletproof vest.
In one hand he holds a legal code (secured with a padlock), and in the other – a scale that is never balanced.
His favourite saying is: “The law is clear – unless we are talking about my acquaintances.”
Behind him rise piles of case files and a judge’s gavel the size of a battle axe.
Sometimes he wears an eye patch so that – as he himself says – “he doesn’t see too much.”
Eidetrollbar – Trollandia’s Minister of Foreign Affairs
Eidetrollbar is a troll with a very talkative tongue and a diplomatic smile – he speaks a lot, yet none of it truly means anything.
He always carries a globe locked with a padlock and a binder labelled: “Confidential – read only aloud.”
He wears a perfectly tailored suit, carried with a kind of effortless nonchalance, as if it were connected directly to a bank rather than to reality.
Hanging from his legal authority is an electronic translator that renders all his statements into the universal: “blah blah blah.”
Eidetrollbar loves press conferences and selfies with foreign trolls.
His notes most often contain a single instruction: “Do not say anything directly.”
Morotroll – Speaker of the Trollandia Parliament
Morotroll is a round, warm-hearted troll with a feathery complexion and a permanently attached smile – the kind that inspires instant affection, though no one really knows why.
He wears an elegant, slightly too tight blazer and a huge brooch reading: “Unity Through Courtesy.”
When he speaks from the rostrum, his voice is gentle and a bit sugary – like something from a children’s show, only with a stronger dose of propaganda.
He happily takes selfies with every troll – from the left, the right, and even those living under the bridge.
In his office hang posters that say: “Equality also means voting as instructed.”
Officially neutral, he nonetheless has an excellent memory and an even better instinct for whom it is wise to agree with.
Sosialnedtroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Social Affairs
Sosialnedtroll is a troll with a caring gaze and clearly visible bags under his eyes – as if he hasn’t slept for months, worrying about others (or their data).
He wears a sweater with the logo: “Social Aid = Social Calm”, and his pockets are stuffed with forms no one understands.
In one hand he holds a plush troll – “for empathy”, and in the other a binder full of documents that “could and should, but no one knows for whom”.
His favourite sentence is: “Understanding needs is essential… after filling in form 17b/Ω.”
GMOTroll – Minister of Genetics, Modification and Troll Engineering
GMOTroll is a science-obsessed troll with a passion for experiments…
He starts with vegetables and grains, and sometimes ends with the trolls themselves.
Something moves inside his pockets – most likely mutated micro-trolls.
On his forehead he wears an EEG headband “to monitor innovative ideas.”
GMOTroll believes he belongs to a new generation of hybrid trolls:
harder, more efficient, more sensitive… and glowing in the dark.
Motto: “If something can be replaced, then it means it should be.”
Trollbomber – Trollandia’s Minister of Global Warfare and Bombastic Rhetoric
Trollbomber is a former “peacekeeper” who ultimately decided that “peace bombs with democracy inside” truly exist.
He wears an elegant olive uniform covered in medals – each awarded for “initiating peace” somewhere very far away.
On his back he always has a strapped parachute, and at his belt hangs a microphone from which he regularly proclaims slogans such as:
“Peace is war, and war is an investment!”
He always appears with a flawless hairstyle and prepared statements – capable of moving crowds,
and moments later signing an order to bomb yet another forest (for safety).
“If you want peace – bomb first, so it’s ready.”
Once he blew soap bubbles, now he prefers… other kinds.
He loves talking about “solutions”, especially those that end in a pile of rubble.
Officially an ambassador of security, unofficially – an ambassador of chaos.
He has a radar tuned to oil, and a conscience on permanent holiday.
Unfortunately, his finances have been getting out of hand lately… but with a bang.
Barntrollmor – Trollandia’s Minister of Family and Children
Barntrollmor is a troll with a warm smile and a stern gaze – the kind of mother who always “knows best.”
She wears a woollen scarf with the inscription: “Love is Control”, and on her shoulder a bag full of regulations meant to “protect” young trolls from independent thinking.
Her office smells of crayons, coffee, and mild panic.
The shelves bow under brochures titled: “How to Raise a Troll Without a Personality” and “Boundaries? Yes, but Only for Children.”
During press conferences, she proudly announces: “Our trolls are the future, which is why they must be properly programmed.”
Her motto: “Family is the most important social unit – especially under supervision.”
Forskningstroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Science and Technological Education
Forskningstroll is a troll with an intelligent gaze, slightly messy fringe, and glasses sliding all the way down to the tip of his nose.
He wears an oversized, worn laboratory coat – stained with ink, coffee, and a touch of an unidentified substance.
A notebook filled with sticky notes and strange sketches sticks out of his pocket.
In one hand, he holds a flask with a bubbling liquid; in the other, a tablet with a cracked screen and a constantly flashing error counter.
A creative chaos surrounds him: scattered books, test tubes, paper rolls, and the smell of a burnt experiment.
His office – part laboratory, part design space, part trollish institute – pulses with an energy no one understands, not even himself.
Sjølvstyrttulltroll – Trollandia’s Minister of Local Self-Governance
Sjølvstyrttulltroll is a local troll with grand ambitions.
He wears a vest decorated with the coats of arms of all municipalities – none of which function properly.
He always carries a megaphone through which he announces “public consultations” – the kind no one listens to.
His hairstyle resembles a wind turbine – a symbol of decentralisation – and under his arm sticks a map with borders that change every week.
From his pocket protrudes a bag of ballot boxes and a stamp marked “REJECTED”.
His smile is wide, but his gaze keeps shifting – he’s constantly checking whether the camera is indeed running.
His office looks like a municipality in a state of permanent experimentation: cork boards, posters, brochures with the slogan “Close to the people” and a large model of Trollandia…
where everything regularly collapses.
The Government of Trollandia – sold with a soul and without a receipt
The Government of Trollandia does not act in the interest of its citizens.
It works for strategic investors from abroad – the kind who buy entire valleys packaged together with their inhabitants.
The ministers unanimously claim that this is “modern international cooperation,”
although in practice it resembles a garage sale – only the garage is the entire country.
They sign contracts no one reads, wave flags no one understands,
and trolls who still dare to ask “for how much?” receive a brochure about patriotism.
The newspapers write that Trollandia is developing.
That is also true – it is developing straight toward the abyss.
The Secret Executive Network – they see everything, yet understand nothing
Here the official part ends, and the part no one was meant to see begins.
When the ministers turn off the lights in their offices, the network of trolls
for “special, confidential and entirely accidental tasks” goes to work.
The Secret Executive Network tracks every signature, every whisper, and every email sent “by mistake”.
They see everything, note everything… and still have no idea what is actually going on.
Snuttroll — codename: “Pinecone Crusher”
Function: Chief of the Troll Forest Police
Snuttroll is a troll with a baton larger than his strategic abilities.
He believes every patch of moss hides a rebellion, and every fern is plotting something.
He wears a cap so tight that his ears stick out — which, he claims, increases his “range of hearing civic murmurs.”
On his uniform pocket he carries a badge reading: “Strike before you think.”
He reacts allergically to protests, irony, and thinking — all of which trigger a nervous snort, frantic baton-fluttering, and immediate disciplinary action.
Tvangstroll — codename: “The Enforcer”
Function: Executor of the Troll General Compulsion Authority (ETPO)
Tvangstroll is the one who appears every time someone dares to say “no.”
A specialist in extracting consent — even where it has never existed.
He holds a certificate titled “Break Resistance With a Smile” and a diploma in applied psychotrollogy (completed by correspondence — since no one ever passed the final test).
He is always dressed in a stiff suit with a pin reading “Consent Is Mandatory” and carries a briefcase filled with forms, threats, mask-clamps, and legal paragraphs highlighted in red marker.
From behind his back protrudes a long stick – the so-called “negotiation rod”, perfect for persuasion from a distance.
He speaks little, but effectively. Most often: “Sign. It’s for your own good.”
Lytteluggtroll — codename: “Ear-Lounger”
Function: Trollandian General Eavesdropper
Lytteluggtroll is a small, inconspicuous troll with enormous ears – so large they cover his eyes.
This does not bother him, because as he says: “Seeing is a luxury, hearing is a duty.”
Always hidden under a desk, in a cupboard or behind a ficus pot, he collects every rustle, whisper, sigh and every “ugh!” muttered toward the office.
On his back he carries a special acoustic backpack, and in his pockets – recorders, micro-bugs and gummy treats for confused speakers.
Throughout Trollandia it is said that if you muttered something into your pillow – Lytteluggtroll has already forwarded it.
Mørkespion — codename: “The Shadow of Censorship”
Function: Supreme Guardian of Content and Darkness
Mørkespion appears wherever silence falls after the word “truth”.
He wears dark glasses even in underground corridors, “to avoid being blinded by transparency”.
His coat is sewn from blacked-out documents, and his pockets are filled with erasers, black markers and disappearing inks.
On his desk sits a red button labelled “DELETE” – he uses it faster than anyone can think.
He adores the word “correction”, although it usually means “erasure.”
Scrolltroll — codename: “The Finger of Truth”
Position: Troll of Stream Analysis
(Specialist in scrolling everything, everyone, always)
Scrolltroll never lifts his gaze – his life is one endless scrolling gesture.
His index finger is as muscular as that of a troll-lumberjack, trained by 18 hours of screen time a day.
He doesn’t sleep – he only “recharges his batteries to the rhythm of scrolling.”
Pakktroll — codename: Minister of Chaotic Logistics
Pakktroll is a troll with an endless list of parcels that never reached where they were supposed to go.
He can be in three different sorting facilities at once — and in none of them does anything work.
Every forest troll claims that “the package was at the neighbour’s yesterday,”
yet no one has ever actually seen it.
Pakktroll is the master of lost letters, wrong returns and the “system errors of Trollandia.”
His computer sends the message “Shipment on the way” every day — although no one remembers to where.
Mistroll — codename: Director of Vague Analytics
Mistroll is an absolute master of saying things that sound intelligent yet mean nothing at all.
He creates charts no one understands and reports so convoluted they resemble a data mushroom mycelium.
When someone asks him a question, he replies:
“That depends on the metacontext of the dispersed variables.”
Then he disappears into a fog of data and expert commentary.
No one knows what he actually does –
and everyone is afraid to ask.
Hemdokutroll — codename: Guardian of Secret Files
Hemdokutroll never sleeps — he keeps watch.
He guards secret binders that still remember the first troll wars over moss.
He says “everything is in the documents,” even though no one can find them,
and he himself forgot where he hid the archive key.
He rustles paper like a weapon,
and treats paperclips as if they were close-combat blades.
Speiltroll — codename: Chief of Internal Observation
Speiltroll is always watching.
When he’s not watching you – he’s watching himself.
Carrying mirrors of every size, he repeats his favourite saying:
“Trust is a luxury for the naïve.”
He wanders through corridors, reflecting in every shiny surface,
constantly adjusting control over both his reflection and his surroundings.
No one knows how many eyes he really has –
because, as he claims, some of them are “operationally invisible.”
Kodeluggtroll — codename: Cryptotroll / Keeper of Secrets
Kodeluggtroll doesn’t speak — he encrypts.
If you order a coffee, the waiter receives an encrypted message on parchment.
He wears a cloak covered in binary code and a medallion that looks like an old 56k modem.
Rumour has it that even his dreams are password-protected.
His favourite saying is:
“If nothing works, it means everything is secure.”
Kokotroll — codename: Communications Troll (Communications Officer)
Kokotroll is a slightly hunched troll with an exceptionally sensitive ear and a megaphone growing out of his back.
His eyes dart in every direction, always searching for the newest rumour or scandal.
On his chest he wears a press badge — even though no newsroom claims him.
His chair is powered by old telephones, radios and glowing smartphones that whisper to him at night:
“Speak louder, even if no one listens.”
Fact Troll — codename: Troll of Logistics and Action
Fact Troll is constantly on the move — with three phones, a worn-out checklist and a toolbox
that rattles as he runs between meetings.
He leaves sticky notes everywhere —
no one knows where his calendar begins or ends anymore.
To every question he answers with conviction:
“It’s already in the system!” — even though the system is actually him.
Rumour has it he once organised an entire meeting
while stuck in an elevator.
Pickamtroll — codename: Documentation Troll (Archives & Photography)
Pickamtroll is slim and watchful,
with a device where an eye should be — always ready to record everything,
even things that haven’t happened yet.
He carries stacks of dusty photo albums
and stamps anything that moves — including trolls who walk too quickly down the corridors.
No one knows where he stores his collections,
but it’s said that “no photo is ever too insignificant.”
His favourite saying is:
“Without documentation, it’s as if nothing ever happened.”
Overchecktroll — codename: Oversight & Censorship
Overchecktroll never speaks — he only listens.
Surrounded by screens glowing in the dark, he monitors everything
that is spoken, thought or muttered.
His mouth is sealed with tape — not because he cannot speak,
but because he will never say what he knows.
On his nose he wears an old-fashioned listening speaker connected to a blinking console.
No one knows where he lives — he claims he’s a waiter.
Favourite equipment: [redacted].
Guardian of Tomorrow — codename: Advisor for Strategy & Future Thinking
Guardian of Tomorrow is always a decade ahead of everyone — and wrong by the same margin.
With glasses perched on the tip of his nose and a dramatic gaze, he studies a massive scroll marked “VISION” in Gothic lettering.
Behind him float arrows, clouds and vague concepts
that no one truly understands — including himself.
He loves speaking in the future tense and begins every sentence with:
“In the year 2035…”
No one has ever seen his plans come true,
but everyone must pretend they will.
Papirtasstroll — codename: Minister of Approvals and Document Flow (Signature Troll)
Papirtasstroll looks soft and harmless — a fluffy, elegantly dressed troll in a perfectly ironed vest with a shiny golden pen in his pocket.
He is an unassuming bureaucratic machine — always ready to sign anything he hasn’t read.
On his desk lie three items: a stamp, a pen and a stack of documents “awaiting approval.”
No one knows where he lives — but everything that passes through his hands ends up stamped.
His favourite line is:
“This looks important — let’s sign it.”
Formulary Troll — codename: Head of Forms / Controller of Everything That Can Be Stamped
Formulary Troll lives inside a computer buried in paperwork.
His head barely sticks out from piles of forms, certificates, criteria and facsimiles of authorisations.
He grips his stamp so tightly that every hit on the desk sounds like a verdict.
With reading glasses sliding down his nose, he glares angrily at anyone
who dares to use an outdated form.
His favourite saying is:
“You must submit this again — in the original and in three copies!”
Snikfottroll — codename: Shadow Troll / Mission Unknown
Snikfottroll is a mysterious figure who never speaks, never writes — and never truly disappears.
Always in the background, half-hidden, wrapped in a coat with the hood pulled so low that even the sun doesn’t know his face.
From beneath the hood protrudes an additional universal lens,
through which — he claims — he sees everything, even what has not yet happened.
No one knows who he works for.
Some suspect that even the Government of Trollandia doesn’t know his real assignments.
He appears where he isn’t invited,
and vanishes one second before anyone realizes he was there.
Brevdusktroll — codename: Traditional Communications Troll / Minister of Letters & Scrolls
Brevdusktroll is an old, slightly drowsy troll who refuses to acknowledge the existence of modern communication.
His desk is eternally stained with ink, a worn-out quill sticks behind his ear, and piles of scrolls, letters and wax seals tower around him.
He insists that “a handwritten letter has a soul”,
whereas an email is merely “an electric rustle with no heart.”
No one knows how many of his messages ever reach their recipients,
but everyone admires his calligraphy.
When he appears at the office — which happens often —
a small shower of envelopes and the fragrant dust of paper descends with him.
Blokknotten — codename: Notetroll / Secretary of Everything
EN: Recorder of Meetings and Silence
Blokknotten is a small troll with enormous ears and a notebook bigger than himself.
He is always writing — even when no one says a word.
He sits quietly in the corner of the meeting room, taking notes on silence, sighs, glances
and awkward pauses. His presence makes everyone straighten their ties
and lower their voices to a whisper.
He never speaks — but everyone suspects he knows more than most ministers.
His notebook is said to be bottomless, and anything written in it never disappears.
Overketroll — codename: Oversight and Censorship Troll
EN: The Great Listener and Chief Muter
Overketroll is a dark, silent troll who never speaks — but hears everything.
He always wears a set of cables that are supposedly not connected to anything… yet they work.
His body is covered in blinking monitors showing images from the farthest corners of Trollandia.
On his mouth he wears a strip of tape — a symbol of silence.
On his nose — a large listening device that never switches off.
Rumour has it he knows every whisper and every “uhh…” muttered in the ministerial halls.
Some have seen him sitting perfectly still, finger on the mute button —
waiting for someone brave enough to speak.
Visatroll — codename: Gatekeeper Troll
EN: Responsible for Denying Access to Magical Bridges and Gates of Trollandia
Visatroll is a sour, world-weary troll with an innate sense of duty and an obsession with the “REJECTED” stamp.
His desk resembles a barricade of forms, prohibitions, and temporary permits that never expire — because they are never issued.
He always holds a magical stamp marked “NO!”,
which he can slam down before anyone manages to speak.
On his nose he wears enchanted spectacles for spotting “suspicious individuals” —
they glow red whenever someone approaches with good intentions.
He is famous for having once denied a cat the right to cross a bridge,
simply because it lacked a completed VT-12-B form.
Loggtroll — codename: Master of Records
EN: Specialist of Trollandia’s Registers and Databases
Loggtroll is obsessively organised and knows every citizen of Trollandia
better than their own mother.
He lives in an archive filled with drawers, folders, and humming servers.
His fingernails are permanently stained with ink,
and his eyes glow from constant data processing — 24 hours a day.
He collects, sorts and cross-checks numbers, registry IDs, residence codes
and mysterious notes from the past.
His greatest enemy is data inconsistency —
and his favourite activity is reporting everything to Overketroll.
He speaks little, but when he finally does,
he always begins with a reference number.
Retushtroll — codename: Chief Truth Editor
EN: Troll of Propaganda Retouching (Photos, Recordings & History)
Retushtroll is an elegant, meticulously careful troll with agile fingers and a sly glint in his eye.
He always wears a perfectly ironed shirt and a bundle of USB keys around his neck like trophies.
He is the one who erases inconvenient figures from old photographs,
alters them in archival sources,
and adds people who never existed.
He believes that “everything can be improved — even reality itself.”
In his forest cave you can hear the constant rustling of rewound tapes
and the rhythmic tapping of the editing keyboard.
Favourite saying:
“Truth? But which product version?”
Prikktroll — codename: Forest Eye Troll
EN: Specialist in Woodland Surveillance & Underbrush Monitoring
Prikktroll is a short, masked troll who can blend into forest undergrowth like debris in pine needles.
He wears a cap made of moss and pinecones, hiding a miniature camera — “because you never know who will speak near a fern.”
On his back he carries a leaf-stuffed backpack with tiny antennas poking out,
and around his waist a set of microphones hidden in a camouflage pouch.
He slips between trees so silently that even wolves fear him.
Famous for reports such as:
“Troll No. 437 behaved suspiciously — check!”
He firmly believes that even deer have something to hide.
✦ Summary ✦
The Secret Execution Network claims to operate in the shadows —
but its shadow reaches everywhere.
In theory, it is meant to serve all trolls. In practice, it serves the government, which uses it to sell off and give away Trollandia piece by piece.
For ordinary forest trolls, it steals their peace, clouds their thoughts and stirs their minds so effectively that no one knows anymore whom to trust, or who merely thinks they are telling the truth.
It is a bureaucratic monster that devours its own forest — and still insists it does so for the forest’s own good.
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The Eye of Trollandia never sleeps.
The Network never blinks.